Stress and the Sandwich Generation

Sitting with Mandy over dinner at an up-scale Chinese restaurant – a café environment all the way –  we talked about our position as part of the sandwich generation. You know the signs – taking care of our parents or preparing to take care of our parents and having kids come back home to live as they launch their careers. Sometime there is physical support as parents ail, sometime it is financial support as their retirement funds are insufficient.

Being in the sandwich generation does not always let us feel like being the cream in the Oreo cookie – the most desired center. Rather, we feel like the rope in a game of tug of war being pulled distinct opposite directions.

It seems to us some frank conversation is a great starting point to being responsive and responsible to all the parts of our sandwich. I’m asking my dad what he likes about facilities he’s exploring for his ailing uncle. Mandy voices the need for her sister to get involved as mom needs an allowance to make ends meet.

At another table John’s daughter is selecting a college and the financial as well as physical arrangements need to be evaluated and negotiated.  They cannot afford her college of choice. Is it time to get realistic and lay all the cards on the table? Would having all the facts in the spotlight relieve some stress? Wouldn’t clarity close some doors yet simplify the planning?

Mandy & I conclude that acknowledging that we’re in the middle of some tricky situations is a start to being an enhancing part of it without losing ourselves amid the many ingredients.